“What a Lovely Surprise to Finally Discover how unlonely being alone can be”- Ellen Burstyn
How beautifully said! I know it hurts and I do know that at the beginning, you might experience stress and anxiety because of not being able to reach your friends, your family or maybe the social world of cherishing only happiness. But once you start enjoying solitude, nothing can stop you achieving liberty and happiness.
Being a talkative person by nature, it was very hard for me to live away from a lovely family, but I somehow managed it with the help of a few friends. The real struggle started when most of them went to some other state, or I guess we just grew up having less time for each other.
I had two options, either I could start feeling depressed or get desperate to make new friends or I had to accept the fact that I have to manage everything on my own.
The first few days have been the most difficult one could ever imagine. After having the stressful days at my blood sucking job, I had no one to talk. Yeah, family is one thing that stands by you in all situations, but physically there was no one.
Initially, I started talking to people who were out of my interest, and then, I decided to stop this infirmity of being with people who are not from my tribe. I used to cry, wake up all night, having thoughts of going back home, just to find people who could spoil me again. It was not only affecting my health but my work & personal life as well. I started losing interest in writing that apparently, is the only passion I ever had.
Slowly, the being alone phase turned into being lonely and sad.
One day, I decided to take a leave from work, and bought a self-help book “Who will cry when you die? By Robin Sharma. The book had nothing to do with this phase but somehow, I slept earlier that night as I was feeling accomplished after a very long time. That day, I realized that if I look at the brighter side, things can get better, and guess what happened next?
I started liking the ‘me-time’ all of a sudden. Going to work and then coming back for having that accomplishment was the same as waiting for a call from your long distance lover. All these years, I haven’t got the time to write for myself, to cook my own food, deal with other things and taking good care of myself but now I do it with full interest and still get the time to pursue my passion.
No, I am not asking you to leave all your friends and social life behind, and start living alone. This is for the people who somewhere or the other are stuck with the wrong people or in a wrong place, to get validation from this world. You don’t have to have a group of people to share your feelings or to be happy. A phone call from an old friend living in another country, or a message from your sister can be more pleasing and inspiring sometimes.
Secondly, when you start enjoying your own company, you get time to analyze little things and recognize the goals that you have been ignoring for so long.
Not every day but at least once a week, just go out and sit alone without having a plan, and silently observe everything from an old couple walking on the street to the beauty of nature, and you will see how beautiful life can be. And finally, when you reunite with your people, you will be able to give them more than you used to. You are now confident about yourself, that your happiness does not belong to anyone else. It is yours, and only you can decide whether you want to embrace the joy of being alone or to change it to loneliness.
Will see you soon! J